Perception vs Reality
May. 20th, 2017 05:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wallbratChris Cornell died. I feel for his family. Do I grieve with the world? No. I didn't know him any more than I knew Robin Williams or the thousands of others that commit suicide yearly that we never hear about. So why write about this? Because the same thing that happened with Robin is beginning to happen with Chris. People are beginning to point fingers at one another. Others are stating that this could have been avoided if more attention had been paid. It was bullshit when Robin died and it's bullshit now.
The truth is that Chris lost the battle with his inner voice just like Robin did. There's nothing anyone could have done to stop it. There's no way to have known what was going through his mind. Those of us who fight that voice will never reach out because that's not how our society works. For those of you that actually want to help, you need to reach out to us.
I've been dealing with that voice for about 40 years now. I finally admitted that it was real about four years ago. That's about the same time that I went on medication to quit smoking. The meds didn't accomplish that, however, they did help give me back control of myself.
I may have been born this way. Ritalin may have caused it when I was a preteen. It's more likely that Ritalin aggravated what was already there. ADHD, Depression, stuck at around 16 years old emotionally. The meds help with the worst of that and I do the rest. I'm happy to say that I'm a functional adult. Something that I'd given up hope of ever attaining. Throughout all of that, the voice was there, whispering to me.
That voice is insidious. It whispers promises of peace, quiet, freedom from pain, responsibility, loneliness, ridicule and lack of acceptance. It can all be mine. I'll finally be free. All I have to do is stop breathing. That's not a big thing, right?
One day, if I live long enough, the voice will win. It will kill me. It's a mental illness and that means that it's not subject to being cured. There is not therapy that will eradicate it. You can't cure it with pills or shots. You live with it, learn to adapt or you don't. My goal isn't to get rid of the voice. That's not possible. My goal is to outlive it. This is where society screws things up.
Mental illness is not readily visible and there is no way to guard against it. There are no vaccinations. There is no cure. As a society that terrifies us. We rationalize it away because we can't face it. We say things like, “It's all in your head!”. Well, yes. It is. That's what makes it so dangerous. Those around us refuse to see reality and those of us with the issues don't want to admit it that we have a problem. I should have been on medication decades ago but I refused to admit that I needed to be. I didn't want to be different. I stumbled my way into the proper prescription while trying for something else.
If you truly want to help us, then do two things. First, simply love us. Be available. Be receptive. Be the type of friend or family that we can confide in. Be the type of person that we can reach out to, safely.
Second, don't feel guilty if we lose. It's not your fault. I cannot stress this enough. If we lose the battle, it's our fault, not yours. Don't carry that guilt with you over something that we did. While it is a mental illness, it doesn't absolve us of personal responsibility.
I'm fortunate in that I don't need people to reach out to me. I'm fully aware of who and what I am. I reach out when I need to and I'm not afraid to talk about things. If all any of you do is help one person, then my time spent on this is worthwhile. If you don't, then you're just as trapped as I was and you need some help. Think about it.
The truth is that Chris lost the battle with his inner voice just like Robin did. There's nothing anyone could have done to stop it. There's no way to have known what was going through his mind. Those of us who fight that voice will never reach out because that's not how our society works. For those of you that actually want to help, you need to reach out to us.
I've been dealing with that voice for about 40 years now. I finally admitted that it was real about four years ago. That's about the same time that I went on medication to quit smoking. The meds didn't accomplish that, however, they did help give me back control of myself.
I may have been born this way. Ritalin may have caused it when I was a preteen. It's more likely that Ritalin aggravated what was already there. ADHD, Depression, stuck at around 16 years old emotionally. The meds help with the worst of that and I do the rest. I'm happy to say that I'm a functional adult. Something that I'd given up hope of ever attaining. Throughout all of that, the voice was there, whispering to me.
That voice is insidious. It whispers promises of peace, quiet, freedom from pain, responsibility, loneliness, ridicule and lack of acceptance. It can all be mine. I'll finally be free. All I have to do is stop breathing. That's not a big thing, right?
One day, if I live long enough, the voice will win. It will kill me. It's a mental illness and that means that it's not subject to being cured. There is not therapy that will eradicate it. You can't cure it with pills or shots. You live with it, learn to adapt or you don't. My goal isn't to get rid of the voice. That's not possible. My goal is to outlive it. This is where society screws things up.
Mental illness is not readily visible and there is no way to guard against it. There are no vaccinations. There is no cure. As a society that terrifies us. We rationalize it away because we can't face it. We say things like, “It's all in your head!”. Well, yes. It is. That's what makes it so dangerous. Those around us refuse to see reality and those of us with the issues don't want to admit it that we have a problem. I should have been on medication decades ago but I refused to admit that I needed to be. I didn't want to be different. I stumbled my way into the proper prescription while trying for something else.
If you truly want to help us, then do two things. First, simply love us. Be available. Be receptive. Be the type of friend or family that we can confide in. Be the type of person that we can reach out to, safely.
Second, don't feel guilty if we lose. It's not your fault. I cannot stress this enough. If we lose the battle, it's our fault, not yours. Don't carry that guilt with you over something that we did. While it is a mental illness, it doesn't absolve us of personal responsibility.
I'm fortunate in that I don't need people to reach out to me. I'm fully aware of who and what I am. I reach out when I need to and I'm not afraid to talk about things. If all any of you do is help one person, then my time spent on this is worthwhile. If you don't, then you're just as trapped as I was and you need some help. Think about it.
